Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Saving the best for last

Dirk Dakota here, at the two-man bobsled competition. Next up, the team we've all been waiting for, the husband-and- wife Alsen Alpine Team, the Bjorks.  Heavy favorites to take the gold, they should walk away with this competition, if they walk away at all. We pick up the action at treacherous Turn Number Three, where so many teams have already failed today: 
 
Look at the speed! And Thimm Bjork has complete control of the sled. They are almost psychic - just look at the seamless teamwork as they lean into Turn Number Eight:
  
And they cross the finish line in a World Record Time, a full two seconds ahead of the Swiss team. No one's going to beat the Bjorks today! 

Let's take you now to the magnificent outdoor venue, the Alsen Memorial Rink, where the elite Olympic event, Ladies' Figure Skating, is now in progress. 

Last to skate is the former Soviet Bloc Champion and East River three-time Silver medalist, Davina Friggenschitzen. As she prepares to take the ice, we see long-time Coach Timovich Larsen in the background. No other skater exudes sex appeal like Davina. Just watch her during those opening bars of Ravel's Bolero.  And what a beautiful costume by Vera Wang.


Huge points here not only for poise and elegance, but for sticking this incredibly difficult landing of his her triple-toe, triple-toe, double-flip, quad-loop, triple axel combination! Outstanding! Her jumps are just huge! 
Again, the grace, the absolute attention to every detail of every jump; the stretch, the pose, the fine nuance of her performance!  Just magical!  And she knows it!  Now we'll just have to wait for the judges' scores, and some gender- and steroid-testing, naturally.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Dead-eye Dick (and Jane)

Good evening and welcome back to our coverage of what has so far been a spectacular Winter Games. First we take you to Alsen, SD, the site of the biathlon. Recent immigrant from the former East Germany, now a U.S. citizen, Piter Yorkhoff. You can see the giant slalom course in the background as Yorkhoff prepares for this grueling event.
 Not everyone in the crowd appreciates Piter's confident attitude. But no one can argue with that deadly aim. Wow! What a competitor!

But Team Germany has the three-time World Champion Biathlete in Dyomi Janssen. Dyomi is simply in a class by herself, always challenging herself to up her game. And she does just that, as our cameras catch her taking aim at the target in Alsen, South Dakota, all the way from Columbus, Ohio. Folks, this is one shot that not even Natty Bumpo would try! (Don't try this at home, kids.)


Amazing shot but this will be very close, as the judges huddle for discussion. We're waiting now for the final results... And it's... YES! Germany takes gold in the biathlon! And now the playing of the German national anthem:

Stay tuned tomorrow for the two-man bobsled!

Sunday, February 14, 2010

The Snow Angel


Welcome to our continuing coverage of the Alsen Winter Olympics. It's a sparkling crisp day at Alsen, South Dakota. We begin our coverage via satellite, and first up is Olympic Snow Angel Making. The odds-on favorite, Little Ellen Boodle-Cap, spent the entire season training in Siberia for this competition. Though she's certain to take home a medal, her performance was somewhat hindered by permafrost!

 
Note the sly usage of exposed midriff. Boodle-Cap really knows how to work the judges for those artistic merit scores.

 
Not just another pretty face, this fierce competitor really suffers to deliver her best.


 
And the tape tells the tale. GOLD for Little Ellen Boodle-Cap!

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Meet your Olympic judges!

Remember, we should judge not, lest we be judged. (And a reminder to children everywhere: There is nothing like a photo for prime blackmail material.)

THE JUDGE FROM SPAIN:
 
 THE JUDGES FROM HUNGARY:
 

THE JUDGE FROM TURKEY:

THE JUDGE FROM HOLLYWOOD:
 

THE JUDGE FROM THE NORTH POLE:


JUDGE ROY BEAN, SR.

JUDGE ROY BEAN, JR.

Those crazy opening ceremonies...

After all the photos -- too many to post here -- arrived yesterday, one fact stood clear: There isn't much in the way of entertainment in South Dakota at this (any?) time of year.

OPENING CEREMONIES FROM ALSEN, SOUTH DAKOTA

South African marathoner Ingwe Maumstein completes the last leg of the course, carrying the flame into Olympic Village...
 


And now, we prepare to light the cauldron...
  

 And there it is...

  

LET THE GAMES BEGIN!
 

And here we have some rare videos capturing the majesty of this event:


Stay tuned for figure skating, snow angels, and an introduction to those controversial judges.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Agony of MY defeat.

The first of the photos in the family Olympics photo shoot arrived in my email yesterday. Little brother and his wife have just crushed the rest of us before we can even upload our photos to the hard drive. I love their innovative use of props. Have a close look at those "skis" and tell me what you think. Not to mention that highly original curling "rock." But really, it's how clearly he and his wife got into the spirit of our little competition that wins them a gold medal. Here is his email narration of events and the photos:

The 2010 Olympics are upon us. Team U.S.A. has a couple of upstarts that are looking to capture the gold and bring it home. First up is the curling team of Mavis and Phil. Normally, there are three to a team but these two are THAT GOOD!! They might not look like much, but don't let that fool you. They are undefeated!!
 
  
  
 


These two versatile athletes are also going for the gold in the Women's and Men's Downhill, the prestige event in Alpine Skiing. Mavis is the favorite in the Women's as she attended Jean Claude Killy's ski school. Phil's style may not be the norm, he doesn't get that classic tuck position, but he's still expected to give the Austrians and Germans a run for their money.